have u ever noticed how much dick-shaped stuff there is in nature?
my CRYSTAL DICK enamel pin is designed to be reminiscent of finding a suggestive rock or gem in the wild. it's like a little sexual talisman - interpret it and use it however you see fit to harness your masculine energy. it can promote passion, sex positivity, fertility, gender fluidity, or whatever u want it to represent. use them to attract some of that good dick. or u can just wear it because it's cute and kinda funny.
my super-shiny CRYSTAL DICK is approximately 1½" tall and made of heavy, high-quailty hard enamel, with gunmetal detailing and a black rubber clutch closure [EDIT, for some weird reason they sent me the restock with red heart-shaped clutch backs, so that's what you get now!]. some of its facets are made of extra beautiful, multi-dimensional-looking iridescent glitter enamel.
the pin is carded on a backing card featuring a quote by buckminster fuller. now available in pink too if that's what you're into!
SHIPPING RATES & TIMEFRAMES
USA first class (3-5 business days*): $5.00
USA priority (1-3 business days): $10.00
international first class via global advantage: $8.00
(international delivery timeframes vary by location, but are typically within 10 business days of the ship date.)
*all projected delivery dates shown on this page are estimates provided by USPS and are not guarantees.
i know you're excited to get your order, and i'm excited to get it to you! i ship all orders as quick as i can, but since i run my business entirely by myself, it can sometimes take me a bit longer to process orders than it might for a big-box retailer.
orders are generally processed and shipped out within 3 business days, but occasionally may take longer. (note: saturday and sunday are not business days!) if it's been less than a week since you placed your order, just give me a couple more days to finish packing up your items. if it's been 7+ days since your order date and you still haven't received a shipping notification, please send an email with your order number to firstname.lastname@example.org. i really appreciate your patience!
TRACKING YOUR ORDER
all orders within the US include tracking, with projected delivery within 3-5 business days of ship date for first class shipments and 1-3 business days for priority mail shipments. all orders are shipped from anaheim, california (92801).
it can take anywhere from a few hours to a couple of days for your package information to appear in the USPS system. please allow at least 24 hours after receiving your shipping notification for your tracking number to show up.
keep in mind that USPS tracking is a guide, not an exact science. the barcode on your package’s label is scanned as it moves through various shipping facilities on its way to you, but it’s not uncommon for scanners to miss the barcode, causing tracking information to be insufficiently updated. please be patient and give your package time to arrive safely to you.
once i drop off packages at the post office i unfortunately don't have any control over them, so if you have questions about the status of your shipment after it's gone out, talk to your mail carrier or call your local post office to follow up. if after you've spoken with a USPS rep your issue still isn't resolved, email me and i will make sure you get a replacement or refund.
as of january 2018, the united states postal service has changed how they handled first class international shipments, significantly raising the cost of international shipping rates. a typical first class international shipment from my shop in 2017 cost around $8, in 2018 the same shipment would be over $15.
to keep shipping costs reasonable for me and my international customers, i'm using a fulfillment program called global advantage provided by my shipping service. international orders are now sent to a postal processing facility in los angeles, california (about 20 miles from my office here in anaheim). they are then shipped on to their international destinations from that location.
unfortunately this new service does not have the same tracking capabilities as USPS. you will be able to track when your package has left the US, but not all packages will be tracked upon entering their destination countries - this is dependent on the postal system in your location. from what i can tell so far (as of early february 2018), about 20% of international shipments will continue to be tracked when they reach their destination countries, with the remainder only tracking until they leave the US - so please keep in mind when ordering internationally that your provided tracking information may be incomplete.
i understand this is a little frustrating, but this is currently my only option for keeping international shipping available, and so far i haven't had any complaints with international packages being delivered! however, it may take a little longer for international packages tor each their destinations. international orders generally take around 10-15 business days to reach their destinations, but can occasionally take as long as 6 weeks.
if you're leery about using the global advantage program and would like your international order sent via a more trackable shipping service, just send me an email at email@example.com and we can discuss other options at a higher cost.
REFUNDS & EXCHANGES
refunds or exchanges may be made only in the case of shop error (i.e., you have been sent the wrong item or your item is faulty upon arrival) and are issued on a case-by-case basis. shipping costs are not refundable.
all orders are sent as quickly and as securely as possible, but unfortunately USPS isn't perfect, and mail does occasionally get backed up or lost in the system. remember that whenever you order an item online, it runs a small risk of being delayed due to circumstances on the part of the shipping provider, which are beyond the control of the shipper.
i do everything i can to make sure your order will get to you on time, and all orders placed according to the above guidelines will be dropped off at the post office on schedule, but i am not responsible for mistakes or delays caused by USPS and/or foreign postal services. once your package is in the care of the post office it's no longer in my hands. that said, if your order is goes missing and USPS can't help you track it down, just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and i'll do my best to make sure it's replaced or refunded.